some thoughts about growing

Isn't it funny how the things we need to be reminded of most are often what we run from the most?

It almost seems like our subconscious says, "OHP! You're about to learn a big lesson - better pack up and hightail it for the hills!" (I guess my subconscious talks like a redneck?!) Anyways.

The other day, I woke up feeling HEAVY without being able to even identify why. In His tenderness, the Lord asked me to talk to Him about it. But me and my deep-south-talkin' subconscious weren't having any of it. I pulled my wild hair back in a way I liked it. I listened to chipper music. I snuggled with my dog. I told my best friend how heavy I was feeling. I went outside and got some fresh air. I made myself tea. I even listened to a sermon about prayer (HAHA).

While the Lord waited patiently and continued to draw me to Himself, I made an embarrassingly drawn out effort to figure out/ignore what was weighing on myself on my own.

Finally, after the sun had gone down and I felt heavier than I had when my eyes opened that morning, I took a deep breath, sat down on my living room floor and talked to the Good Father. In that space - holding only a pencil and an open heart, I listened as He asked me some questions. Those questions not only removed the heaviness from my spirit and my body that I had carried all day, but also washed a layer of healing balm over a tender spot that my heart has known for actual years.

Hallelujah.

WHY do I tell you that story?

Because I KNOW that there are tender places on your heart that the Lord wants you to allow Him to  begin or continue to heal. Why do I know that? Because we are all human and we have all been hurt/hurt others. Even in this moment, I bet that something personal sprang to mind that you wish you didn't still think about/feel a way about.

So I want to encourage you. I want to encourage you to STOP running from doing hard things that help. I know this is the most cliche thing, but do you remember the restless pain in your joints when you were going through a growth spurt? The discomfort sure wasn't my favorite, but getting to make a new pencil mark on the wall a week later sure was.

In the in-between spaces of growth - the moments of restless joint pain - the Lord and those that we love and trust will tenderly help us replace lies that have been woven into our worldview and help us replace them with sweet truth about who the Creator is and how we fit into the fabric of eternity. This is for your healing yes, but it isn't only for yourself. It is for the very reason that as you are being transformed by the best news, you get to take part in sharing the BEST NEWS EVER with the world around you. The best news being that there is One who came to live as one of us, who took all our mess on Himself and paid for it, and who we can have a relationship with forever (starting now by the way). His name is Jesus. He is unfathomably good and Holy and just. 

But we HAVE to stop and listen. We have to be willing to acknowledge and lean into the places that aren't always comfortable. We have to be willing to engage with hard things that we don't have answers to.

That can feel scary, but do you know what sounds more scary to me than that? Never growing.  Continuing to unknowingly believe things that aren't true.

Just a few things I have experienced to be constant; The Lord is not deterred by circumstances we see as impossible to reach through (Psalm 139). He holds the words of life (John 6). He will quiet you by His love (Zephaniah 3:17). He will draw you out of many waters (Psalm 18).

You drench the plowed ground with rain,

    melting the clods and leveling the ridges.

You soften the earth with showers

    and bless its abundant crops.
You crown the year with a bountiful harvest;
even the hard pathways overflow with abundance
the grasslands of the wilderness become a lush pasture,
and the hillsides blossom with joy.
The meadows are clothed with flocks of sheep, 
and the valleys are carpeted with grain. 
They all shout and sing for joy! 

- Psalm 56:10-13 -

Growth takes a lot of rain and plowing and sunshine and sometimes even feels like getting trampled on by flocks of sheep. But you'll be shouting and singing for joy EVEN SO.


Seriously please don't hesitate to reach out so I can be in specific prayer for you. Better yet, if there is someone that you trust that is closer to you than I am - don't be afraid to confide in them. Don't settle for anything less than growing and healing. There are resources and help and wholeness waiting for you.


LOVE YOU and want the VERY BEST for you.