Thoughts on Disappointment

There is so much beauty in disappointment. 

I think of Hannah in the Old Testament pretty often - a woman who by all our understanding was doted upon (she did have a pretty messed up marital situation though) and yet still didn’t have the greatest longing of her heart. When Eli saw her praying and lamenting, her outward expression of her inward turmoil led him to believe that she was drunk. And you know what? That very notion feels so empowering. 

It feels empowering because Hannah was honest. She did not withhold her true feelings about her situation. She laid them all out - loudly - publicly - consistently. 

When we truthfully lean into disappointment, I think we are able to become more honest with what it is that we want. It is ok to want what you don’t have. You can be grateful, fortunate, fed, not “go through what they’re going through” and still want something different. You can recover from addiction, see a friend turn their life around, struggle with self worth and want more. You can battle illness, meet set-back after set-back, be faced with loss after loss and want something different. You can have a job that you love or don’t, a family that is peaceful or hurtful, and a favorite sunset watching spot and still long for something more. You can climb out of debt, sink into debt, feel hopeful and want more. You can travel, retire early, and see your children grow up and give back to the world and still want more. You can do that. It’s ok. 

I am overcome often by the kindness of the Creator - that no disappointment is ever wasted. The enemy would love for us to remain focused on covering our wounds - to swaddle them with a bandage and hide them from the light and oxygen that heal and restore. Jesus? He never once asked someone to hide their affliction. Instead, he brought each out into the open. He did not tell the leper to cover up - he touched them. He did not tell the blind to cover their eyes - he touched them. He did not tell the man with the withered hand to keep it in his coat - He asked him to stretch it out. He did not tell the bleeding woman to isolate herself from society - he celebrated her faith when she walked into the open. 

I think that’s why Jesus is called the JOY of every longing heart - the DESIRE of every longing heart. He does not ask the longing heart to hide their longing. He only asks them to bring their longing to Him. 

It’s ok to long for something different. It’s ok to be disappointed. It’s ok and you are  L O V E D <3